If you think orgasms are the be all-and end-all of sex, you haven’t tried edging. We’re not saying climaxing isn’t amazing, but imagine the best orgasm of your life. And then some.
Welcome to the world of edging, where pleasure and patience unite to create intoxicating suspense in the bedroom. By bringing yourself or your partner to the brink of climax only to step back to avoid orgasm, you’re not just prolonging the excitement, but building anticipation for an explosive finale.
Are you ready to unlock an orgasm so intense it’s worth waiting for? Let’s dive into the practice of edging.
What Is Edging?
Edging is a practice where you bring yourself or your partner close to orgasm, then stop stimulation before climax, allowing the arousal to subside slightly before building up again.
This technique can be done solo or with a partner and is about taking the scenic route to pleasure, making the journey just as enjoyable as the destination.
Benefits of Edging
Edging offers numerous benefits, including heightened sexual pleasure, increased stamina, and improved awareness of arousal levels. It can help manage premature ejaculation and allow for more intense orgasms. For couples, it fosters deeper intimacy and better communication about sexual desires and boundaries.
How To Edge Yourself Or Someone Else
Whether you’re just getting into edging or are a seasoned professional, there are different ways to edge yourself or a partner.
Before you start, create a comfortable and private space. Ensure you won’t be disturbed, and gather any items you might need, such as lubricant, toys, or a comfortable blanket. Soft lighting, relaxing music, and a clean environment can help set the mood and make the experience more enjoyable.
Scroll on for step-by-step guides on how to edge.
Build-up and cool-down method
Step 1: Begin by stimulating yourself or your partner until you reach about 7 or 8 out of 10 in arousal. This can involve manual stimulation, oral sex, or using sex toys.
Step 2: When you feel you’re getting close to the point of no return (PONR), slow down or stop the stimulation. Focus on deep breathing to help reduce arousal.
Step 3: Once the arousal subsides to about a 5, start stimulating again. Repeat this cycle of building up and cooling down several times. The goal is to increase the arousal gradually without reaching orgasm until you’re ready.
Body exploration
Step 1: As you edge, explore different parts of your or your partner’s body. If you’re nearing orgasm, switch your focus to a less sensitive area, such as the neck, ears, or thighs.
Step 2: Use light touches, kisses, or a feather to keep the sensation going without escalating arousal too quickly. This helps maintain the connection and keeps the experience enjoyable.
Pleasure tools
Step 1: For solo edging, incorporating a vibrator or other sex toys can enhance the experience. Start with a lower setting and gradually increase the intensity as you edge.
Step 2: Use the toy to stimulate different erogenous zones. For vulva owners, direct clitoral stimulation can be effective, while penis owners might prefer a stroker or masturbator. Turn off the toy before reaching orgasm, then resume after the arousal subsides.
Orgasmic meditations
Orgasmic meditation (OM) is a practice that combines mindfulness and sexual pleasure, focusing on the sensation and connection between partners.
Step 1: One partner lightly strokes the other’s clitoris or penis for a set period (typically 15 minutes) without the goal of orgasm.
Step 2: The stroker uses a very light, deliberate touch, while both partners focus on the sensation and maintain a meditative state.
Step 3: Throughout the session, communicate any sensations or feelings that arise, fostering a deeper connection and mutual understanding. There are guided orgasmic meditations available online that can walk you through the process step-by-step. These guides can help you and your partner learn the technique and integrate it into your routine.
Edging Tips & Techniques
Want to try edging for yourself? These are our top techniques to try:
- The start-stop method
- Pleasure tools
- The squeeze method
- Ballooning
The start-stop method
The most simple method to start edging involves bringing yourself or your partner to the point where you’re about to orgasm—think a 7 or 8 out of 10 in arousal—then pulling back and stopping. Continue to do this, building stimulation to the point of almost finishing, then dialling it back again until you feel ready to finish. Edging takes practice, so don’t worry if you find it difficult to pull back at first.
If you’re edging with your partner, you can bring them to the point where they are about to orgasm, then focus on a completely different part of their body. This can be frustrating when reaching an orgasm is the sole focus, but with edging, it’s all part of the fun. Just trust that the end result will be worth the wait.
Pleasure Tools
If you want to try solo edging, incorporating a sex toy can take your pleasure to new heights and promote a deeper connection with your own body and desires. For people with vulvas, using a vibrator with powerful direct clitoral stimulation is highly recommended. You’ll want to gradually build up sexual tension using the toy, and then quickly turn it off right before you climax. Continue until you’re ready to bring yourself to orgasm. If your toy has various speeds, you can experiment and see what works best for your body.
The Squeeze Method
The “squeeze method” is a technique that involves the male squeezing the top of the penis and stopping any sexual stimulation for 30 seconds to prevent orgasm before resuming sexual activity or masturbating again.
This technique can be particularly helpful for men who experience premature ejaculation, as it can significantly prolong the duration of sexual activity.
Ballooning
Ballooning is a technique to enhance your sexual experiences while simultaneously strengthening your pelvic floor muscles. This form of edging involves incorporating Kegel exercises into your routine. Like traditional edging, you bring yourself to the brink of orgasm but then slow down or stop the stimulation. At this point, you perform Kegel exercises, which involve contracting and relaxing the pelvic floor muscles.
Challenges & Considerations
Edging requires patience and practice. It might be challenging initially to stop stimulation at the right moment. Communication with your partner is crucial to ensure both parties are comfortable and enjoying the experience. Some people may find it frustrating if they struggle to orgasm after stopping, but this can improve with practice.
Remember, edging is a practice that takes time to master. Whether you’re enjoying a solo session or partnering up, this tantric technique can take your sexual experiences from ordinary to extraordinary.
So next time you’re in the mood, don’t just chase the climax—savour every moment. Because when it comes to edging, the journey is just as rewarding as the end result.
This article originally appeared in Issue 01 of Cosmopolitan Australia. Get your copy and subscribe to future issues here.
