A Guide To Talking Dirty, Without the Cringe

Unlock the secrets to seductive speech with Cosmo’s guide to steamy conversations.
Published September 3, 2024
dirty talk guide examples how to

(Image: Pexels)

If dirty talk feels awkward or unfamiliar, you’ve come to the right place. Mastering the art of cheeky conversation can really turn up the heat in the bedroom. But if you don’t know what to say or where to start, you can find yourself tongue-tied and stuck in a cringeworthy conundrum.

Embracing the seductive side of speech doesn’t have to be an awkward ordeal. With our guide, you’ll be able to craft electrifying exchanges that will leave your partner begging for more.

"i want you to watch me..."

How Do You Talk Dirty?

Unsure where to start with dirty talk? Scroll on for a host of handy tips but at a glance, the most important notes are:

  • Ease into it
  • Use your compliments
  • No new characters

Ease Into It

Navigating dirty talk, especially for the first time with your partner, can feel unnatural. It’s a good idea to ease into it with some NSFW texts. Think of it as a practice run before the real deal. Texting lets you set the scene before any face-to-face interaction. Start with something simple like, “I can’t stop thinking about last night …” or “Wish you were here right now.”

Keep It Casual

Let’s be real, nothing kills the vibe like clinical terms. Leave the scientific jargon at the door and use words that feel enticing. If you’re not sure what to say, think about what turns you on when you hear it. Words like “hot,” “sexy” and “filthy” are great starting points. Keep it steamy, not sterile.

Take That Baby Talk Elsewhere

While baby talk has its place, it’s a definite no-go in the bedroom (unless, of course, it’s part of an agreed-upon kink, then go for it!). Communication is key here. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page about what turns you on and what doesn’t.

When In Doubt, Compliments Count

Compliments are your best friend when you’re stuck for sweet nothings. Everyone loves to feel desired and appreciated, so you can’t go wrong by telling your partner how much you love their body, how amazing they make you feel, or how irresistible they are. Compliments can not only boost confidence, but also create a positive and sexy atmosphere. Just make sure your compliments are sincere—authenticity is key.

No New Characters Without Context

Introducing your partner to your favourite kink or role-playing scenarios can make for some sizzling bedroom experiences. However, dropping them into the conversation without context can be confusing and awkward for everyone involved. Whether you want to try BDSM or bring your foot fetish into play, make sure you have a conversation about it beforehand. Discuss your boundaries, preferences, and any fantasies you’d like to explore in advance to ensure everyone is comfortable and prepared for what comes next.

Read the Room

Last but not least, always read the room. Pay attention to your partner’s reactions and adjust accordingly. If they seem into it, keep going! If they seem uncomfortable or disengaged, it might be time to dial it back or switch gears. Communication is crucial, so be sure to always check in with your partner and ensure they’re enjoying themselves as much as you are. Dirty talk should be a team sport, not a one-person show. At the end of the day, if you’re having fun, your partner will find anything you say hot as hell.

Related: Six Tips For Giving An Unforgettable Blow Job

black and white photo of a couple kissing (story: dirty talk guide how to)
(Image: Getty Images)

Examples Of Dirty Talk Phrases To Try

From least to most spicy, here are some dirty talk phrases to try.

  • “You’re turning me on.”
  • “I’m so [blank] for you right now.”
  • “I love it when you [blank] me like that.”
  • “I want to [blank] your [blank] so bad.”
  • “I want you to watch me [blank].”
  • “I want your [blank] inside my [blank] until I [blank].”
  • “I want to feel your [blank] all over my [blank].”

This article originally appeared in Issue 01 of Cosmopolitan Australia. Get your copy and subscribe to future issues here.

Sophie Howe
Sophie Howe is a lifestyle journalist, relationship coach and Cosmopolitan Australia’s sex and dating editor. She has written for titles such as The Australian, Wish Magazine, Mansion, New Idea and Mamamia, and she has been featured as an expert in publications including ELLE Australia, Forbes and Refinery29. Outside of office hours, you’ll find her doling out dating advice over drinks with her friends, as well as few strangers on TikTok.
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